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DownloadMy grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle
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A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back
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I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading
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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places
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Those two are a fastidious couple. She’s fast and he’s hideous
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If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up – they have no holidays
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to
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You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it
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If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late
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I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock
