Make crime pay. Become a lawyer
Category:Will Rogers
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I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts
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Don’t let yesterday use up too much of today
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Too many people spend money they haven’t earned to buy things they don’t want to impress people they don’t like
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Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie’ until you can find a rock
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I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat
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Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip
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Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects
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The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don’t let it get the best of you
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Everything is funny, as long as it’s happening to somebody else
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Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there
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Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due
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The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets
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Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment
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It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so